Until You Lose What You Have Won
by BrollyBaggins
Summary: Sixteen months before one event will break them all apart. On the verge of Voldemort's powers, Lily, James and their friends make choices in a attempt to preserve what they have fought so hard to obtain. Slightly AU in very SMALL details because of new fa
1. Strengths and Weaknesses

**Until You Lose What You Have Won:**

_Author's note: I have been working on this story for a really long time now, and finally I am satisfied and ready to post. It started off just because I had a few ideas and quotes relating the married Lily and James that Ineeded to jolt down somewhere. But it actually took shape, and now I have a story planned and half-written.  
_

_This is not a fluffy perfect Lily/James love story. I don't make their lives heaven, they are in trouble and will end up dying... SoI'm trying to be realistic.There is (I hope) a balance between happy moments and sad moments.And also somefocuson the breaking of the Marauders as friends. _

_Please comment! _

_

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Disclaimer: Any characters, places and events that take place in the Harry Potter series belong to JK Rowling, Warner Bros and Scholatic, I do not claim them and I thank JKR for allowing me to use her ideas. Characters, places and events that are not in the HP series belong to me, so please ask if you'd like to borrow them. _

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**Chapter 1- Strengths and Weaknesses:**

Lily sat in the grass, tears falling gently down her cheeks. All her choices, all the things she'd endured... Had she been wrong? What was the point of all this? It no longer mattered, nothing mattered anymore. She felt her baby move inside her, she pressed her hand on her belly, tears streaming from her eyes. She felt rather then saw James appear behind her.

She shook her head desperately, wanting to be left alone. Buthe sat next to her, slowly running his fingers through her hair.

"There's no point." He muttered staring ahead; his fingers still on Lily's hair

"No point?" She asked, fixing him with a perplexed look. James finally turned to stare at her, he shook his head and wiped the tears from her face, before turninghis face awayonce more.

Lily frowned. Of course. This was James, after all,the man who never cried, who never showed any sign of weakness. He could be facing Lord Voldemort at the age of seventeen, surrounded by a dozen death eaters, enduring taunts about the murder of his family but he'd still keep his head up high. Why would James despair about the prophecy? She found herself growing angry, angry at his cool; angry at his decision not to so much as voice a single worry about the news they had just been given.

"Of course, James," she said derisively, her voice uneven, "Let me guess. There's not point in me crying, is there? No point in being scared! Just be like James, expecting to brave your way through it –" She paused mid-sentence at the look on James' face, she had been expecting to see him look determined, sad, angry, she would expect to see James look anything but... weak.

"You think I'm never scared?" He asked quietly.

"I –" Lily began, not knowing what to say, "James, you are always so...so strong" she finished lamely.

James snorted ."Well, I'm glad I'm convincing"

"Oh come off it!" Lily snapped. "Are you honestly trying to tell me that you are weak?"

He smiled sadly. "Are _you_ weak?"

Lily stared. This conversation had taken a surprising turn.

James let out a hollow laugh. "See? Weakness has nothing to do with it."

"People who are weak get scared." Lily muttered.

"People who love get scared," he corrected, "We are always going to be vulnerable targets, Lily, because we care, we can't let them see through us, we can't let them know how much we care."

"I can't hold things in like you can."

"It's not like that, Lily -" James said getting closer to her.

She drew back. "You risk your life every day! You always face it like there is nothing holding you back!"

"Of course there is something holding me back! There will always be something holding me back."

" Yeah? Like what?"

He looke incredulous now. "You! Our baby! My friends!"

" I'm just a Mudblood who didn't deserve you! And they were right in the end, weren't they?"

James stared at her in disbelief. "Who _are_ you? You – Lily!" He backed away from her.

Lily didn't answer. The seriousness of what she had said was starting to sink in. " I just – I wanted to be with you..." She said more to herself then to him.

"And there was me thinking that'd be enough." James said bitterly.

"Oh come on, James! You know I didn't mean it." She reached out to him, but he winced and moved further away from her.

For a minute there was silence – and then.

"I don't know what to do!" James burst out desperately.

Lily felt her insides squirm unpleasantly. She had grown up with James, the popular boy, always self-assured, always determinedly asking her out, convinced that she'd one day say yes. She'd watched him face Voldemort three times. She had seen him tragically lose his family... and always, always James had been strong and proud, refusing to give in, resisting. And yet here he was, small and feeble. It was only as she once again attempted to move closer that she realised he was shaking.

"Oh James!" She said softly, pulling him toward her. James showed no resistance. He collapsed onto her, laying his head on her lap and placing on hand on her belly, he kissed it gently.

"We need to start looking at baby names." He muttered as Lily tenderly ran her fingers through his hair.


	2. Kept Under the Rug

_Thank you all for the great reviews! Know that the first few chapters are a little short and simple. They will get longer! I'm glad some of you are enjoying this! Here's Chapter two:_

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**Chapter 2- Kept Under the Rug: **

"Why can't I know Dumbledore?" James asked angrily

"James, nothing is certain right now. It suffices to say that you and Lily should be cautious about your new baby."

James snorted. It should be clear to Dumbledore by now that he was always going to be cautious about his family.

"I am not a teenager anymore!" He raged.

"I know James. I know. But what you have to understand –"

"Is that I don't need to know the whole story because I already know what I'm up against." Said James, sounding very bored. "When are you going to trust me, Dumbledore?"

"You are not a child James, then stop acting like one." Said Dumbledore calmly. James turned to glare at him.

"Lily and I have been wanting this child since we got married, one month before our baby is born you inform us about some crazy prophecy that might set Voldemort on the baby. You drop this bomb over our heads but you won't explain. What are we to expect?" He moved closer to Dumbledore. "We have a right to know."

Dumbledore sighed. "Where is Lily?" He asked after a while.

"Upstairs, sleeping, I think." James replied moodily.

"I need to speak with her," said Dumbledore.

"You will not!" James snapped. He was not going to allow Dumbledore do distress Lily further. She had stayed up through most of the night, and the last thing she needed was more of the empty news that Dumbledore was likely to give her.

"She needs to be spoken to, James."

"What, did I miss any exciting news today?" asked James sarcastically. "As far as I see it we are still short of a few minor details! This is all so familiar." He threw himself onto a chair and stared at the floor.

Dumbledore looked at James. He had grown so much. The Hogwarts headmaster still had trouble believing just how quickly the Potter's only son had matured. He was, of course, still full of obdurate energy. But his concern for what happened around him had forced him to become responsible, undaunted by the troubles he faced.

"That was your family's choice James, not mine." Said Dumbledore gently.

James waved this aside. "And now what? I wait for the day in which I get home and find the dark mark over my house again? Do you expect me to just sit here and wait for Voldemort?

"James!"

"- Just come home and kill my wife and kid -"

"JAMES!"

James paused and turned around. Lily was standing at the doorway; she looked tired and dishevelled. But it was with a determined look on her face that she approached James and whispered in his ear, "I'll be fine we're going to be fine." Then she turned to Dumbledore "We need to talk - James needs to rest."

James opened his mouth to object but Lily raised her hand to stop him. "Please? I won't be long, I promise."

Miraculously, James complied. He stood up and left the living room, eyeing Dumbledore warily as he did.

Lily collapsed onto the couch and then motioned for Dumbledore to do the same.

"You really have to excuse him, Professor," she said, "He's very anxious." And she paused, biting her lip before adding, "You can't blame him."

"You understand my position Lily?" Dumbledore asked her.

Lily sighed heavily and ran her hand absent-mindedly through her hair, "Yes, I do," she said at length. "But...James, he's not well. I've never seen him like this before. I just – I wish you'd put him out of his misery."

Dumbledore chuckled. "He speaks in a similar way about you."

"Well of course I'm worried. James -" She shook her head. "He's livid. He won't sleep. He stays up watching over me, and that makes it much harder for me to relax."

Dumbledore nodded, standing up. "I think- Lily, that you need to speak with him, what I have to say would only go as far as tensing him even further." He stood up to leave. "You do not need to fear an attack, if he were on to you, I'd know." He gazed at Lily for a moment "Yes," he muttered, "yes, I'd know."


	3. Coffee, Potion and a Very Solid Wall

_**Alright. Well,not many reviews this time round. But I thought I'd post anyway, because it's the end of the week and I reallywant to start posting the bigger chapters, which are much more fun ;)**_

_**Silmarien, I don't even know how to thank you for your support. You make writing so much more fun! **_

**Chapter 3- Coffee, Potion and a Very Solid Wall: **

BANG!

"OW! Oi, You two! Wake up! Wake up, let me in!"

Lily groaned and sat up with difficulty. She looked around at James... sleeping. She smiled and began putting on her slippers, just as there was another yell from outside.

"Will one of you great prats open the door?"

Annoyed, Lily opened the window. Sirius was standing outside, looking tired and extremely disgruntled.

"Will you shut up!" She hissed. "James is still asleep!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What is it hibernating season, or something? It's midday!"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" Lily waved a hand desperately, gesturing for Sirius to wait for her. Then she shut the window and climbed down the stairs as quickly as her pregnanthood would allow her. She reached the door and swung it open.

"Sirius!" She asked quietly. "Where are you?"

Sirius popped into view. "You know," he said casually, walking into the house and winking at her. "I was seriously tempted to remember our school days and jump out at you... Too bad times have changed, and Prongs would have my head if I tried." He shook his head in mock injury. Lily smiled.

"Is that so?" She crossed her arms. "Or are you just worried about hurting your Godson?"

Sirius waved this question aside and stared at Lily, his face now reflected slight concern. He held out a rusty key. "You changed keys, you put a load of enchantments on the house, so I couldn't apparate. And ol' Prongs is sleeping until after dawn. Are you guys alright?"

Lily shrugged, but did not answer. She simply motioned for him to sit down. "Would you like something to eat or drink? Tea?"

"Yeah, alright then." Sirius stared at her for a while, and then decided to try again. "So, are you at least going to tell me why on earth James is asleep at this hour?"

"He'd been very tired and I decided he needed sleep." Lily said from inside the kitchen.

"So?" Sirius asked, as Lily appeared holding a tray, "that still doesn't explain how Prongs manages to stay in bed late. I roomed with him and I know for a fact that he's always the first one to get up."

Lily grinned mischievously. "I put sleeping potion in his coffee."

Sirius stared at her in wonder."I knew I should have married you!"

"Who said I'd have you?"

"Well," said Sirius with an air of mock consideration, "you married James."

"Yes," said Lily proudly, "I'm glad I did!"

"Now don't you go saying that in front of him. It's a miracle you can fit a pregnant woman in your bed with him and his ego!"

"Ah now, his ego was bound to get worse after he married the likes of me, wasn't it?" Lily batted her eyelashes.

"Great Merlin it's contagious!" He clutched his chest in mock surprise. "Lily, I never noticed the size of_ your _ego!" He stared at Lily's large belly

"Bit rich coming from you, now isn't it?" She laughed, handing Sirius his teacup. Just as she did, James came pelting down the stairs, his hair standing up on end, his face, pale. He took one look at Lily, handing Sirius the cup and then cried out to his friend, "Don't drink anything this woman gives you!" He reached the ground floor, still staring at Lily, looking utterly dumbfounded." It's half past twelve! What on EARTH did you put in that coffee?"

Lily smiled evilly, "Good _morning_ sweetie!" She gave him a small kiss on the cheek, and walked briskly toward the kitchen, humming to herself.

James stared after her, and then gawked at Sirius who mouthed 'sleeping potion.' James raised an eyebrow in surprise, and followed Lily into the kitchen.

Sirius sat alone in the living room; it would only be a matter of time until... "PADFOOT!" James walked out of the kitchen, looking as though he'd only just realised Sirius was there.

"Top of the morning to you James!" Said Sirius, winking

"Yeah, good afternoon. YOU'RE BACK EARLY!"

"Glad you noticed! I particularly enjoyed coming face to face with an extremely solid door this morning, really refreshing!" Sirius rubbed his sour nose.

"Yeah, sorry about that," said James rather distractedly. Sirius immediately noticed that his friend was anxious to tell him something, and as James glanced in direction of the kitchen to check on Lily, Sirius' suspicions were confirmed. He had only ever seen James act nervous in two other occasions, one followed the murder of James' parents; the other was after Sirius' brother had been killed.

"What's up Prongs?" He asked quietly. James didn't answer at first; he was still looking out for Lily. Then without warning, he pulled Sirius by the arm and dragged him into the empty study, shut the door, then turned to look at his friend, his expression graver then ever.


	4. Five Letters

**Chapter 4- Five Letters: **

"**Asked if I was done with my paper, said he missed doing the crossword."**

"How about... er - Robert?" James asked, frowning down at the piece of parchment, he shook his head. "Robert Potter, nah- I don't like it." He added, before Lily even had a chance to reply.

Lily sighed. "We could just name him after you..."

"We can't, I'll never know whether you're telling him or me off."

"Just assume it's you. Anyway, you're right, I think I prefer to leave James as a middle-name, that's your family tradition anyway, isn't it?"

"So let me get this straight." said Sirius finally, putting down his copy of the Daily Prophet and looking from one to the other. "We've been here nearly four hours, and all you two could come up with is 'James,' as a middle-name, if it's a boy and 'Lily' if it's a girl. What a creative couple you are! Prongs, don't you remember our marauding days? Who came up with the name 'Padfoot'?"

James raised an eyebrow. "You did!" He turned his attention back to his parchment, where he and Lily had written, and then promptly crossed out every option so far.

"What about your family tradition?" He asked Lily.

She shrugged. "Unless you want to name our son after a flower..."

"-And if it's a girl?"

"Rose, Daisy, Margaret...I don't know, James!"

Sirius sniggered, shaking his head and turning his gaze back to the crossword puzzle. "Hey Lil," he muttered, "this one's for you, 'muggle communication device, nine letters."

Lily and James both rolled their eyes. "Telephone." They said together.

Sirius leaned over to write it down. "It doesn't fit!"

"There is no 'F'."

"-and a PH'."

Sirius looked up at them, disgusted. "Ugh! You guys need some time away from each other!"

"Or away from you!" Lily said, grinning

"Nah- Prongs wouldn't live."

James shot Sirius a 'you wish' stare, and then looked at Lily. "I guess it's down to the cliché muggle names..."

Sirius snorted. "Cliché! This coming from a guy called 'James.'"

Once again, James ignored him. "Let's do girls first." He said to Lily.

"Hmmm. Sarah, Emma, Katie, Alice, Lisa, Jane?" Lily screwed up her face in thought. James wrinkled his nose.

"You are just naming girls I've dated." Sirius said from behind his paper, he looked up at Lily. "And mind you be extra careful not to name your little girl after one of James' fan club members... Sarah Potter, you do not want to go giving her any ideas!"

James' cheeks went red; he gave Sirius a repressing look. Lily giggled. "Guess we can cross out Sarah, then!" She said happily. She got up and headed toward the kitchen.

"Padfoot!" James said desperately. "Would you mind being a little less outspoken?"

"Aw, come one Prongs, lighten up! Let's think of boy's names, er- five letters?"

James rolled his eyes. Lately, Sirius had gotten into the habit of doing the crossword every morning after reading his copy of the Daily Profit. There was just the minor drawback that Sirius had absolutely no patience to work on the answers by himself, so he always ended up coming to Lily and James' house for breakfast.

"Will you give up on that already? You're getting obsessed!" James said irritably.

"Keep your antlers on deer boy, I'm almost done!"

Lily returned from the kitchen holding a glass of orange juice, which she was sipping from contentedly. Her spare hand was wrapped around her belly.

"Christopher? Luke? Mark?" She suggested.

"Nope." Sirius shook his head, still looking down at his crossword.

"Arthur? Jake? Harry?" Lily suggested distractedly.

"Hang on..." said Sirius, checking the parchment.

"Yeah..." James said suddenly.

"Nope! Keep going Lil!"

"Yeah…Harry. Harry Potter." James ignored Sirius, his eyes were twinkling.

Lily considered it for a moment. "Harry James Potter." She grinned. "I love it."

Sirius looked up at her. "Do you mind? I'm not finished with five letter names!"

Lily stared down at his piece of parchment. "Five letters...boys name..." She muttered. Then, her eyes sparkling in amusement, she took the pencil from Sirius' hand, wrote down the answer, stood up, and walked away, snickering.

The two men stared after her.

"What was the answer?" James asked.

Sirius looked at his parchment and then back at his friend. "Er- 'James'."


	5. Time to Face the Facts

_It's my birthday, so I'm posting today! Won't do for the next to weeks because I'll be on holiday... so Happy Christmas, everyone!!!_

_I couldn't really think of a better name for this chapter, so I got one that related to it the most._

_And Silmarien... rest assured that I' won't stop writing until I'mdone. :)_

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**Chapter 5- Time to Face the Facts:**

James woke up with a start; he was lying alone in bed. Lily had wrapped a blanket around him and removed his glasses. He smiled and looked around for her, expecting so see her sitting in her armchair, waiting for him to wake up... but she wasn't there. Feeling slightly agitated, he got up, put on his glasses and went downstairs to look for her.

She was lying on the couch; fast asleep with her head on top of a small leather covered book. James sighed in relief and bent over to kiss her on the cheek. Then, thinking that it would be better to take her to bed, James decided to wake her.

"Lil," he muttered softly tucking her hair behind her ear "wake-up, you'd better go upstairs."

Lily sighed softly and grinned, she then moved her head upwards and opened her eyes to stare at him. "You know," she muttered in his ear "When we were just married you used to _carry _me to bed when I dozed off in the couch."

James smiled "Yeah, but that was back when I was nice-"

"-And strong"

James frowned "Are you saying I'm no longer capable of carrying you?"

"Ah now, Merlin knows what all the lack of Quidditch practice has done to you" she smirked "Don't worry, I still love you."

James advanced toward her so fast that it startled her for a minute, she tried to move away, but it was clear that the lack of quidditch practice had done nothing to James' instincts, he was far too fast for her and had her securely in his arms before she could get away.

"James, don't" she said uncomfortably "I was only kidding! You are going to get us both hurt."

But he paid no heed to her, with a huge amount of effort he had scooped her off the couch, his knees buckling under her weight. He barely managed three steps before leaning on the wall to catch breath. Lily giggled and took advantage of his moment of weakness to free herself.

"You really are an idiot!" She said playfully.

James didn't answer; he simply leaned against the wall, panting. His hands clutching a spot where he had retained a particularly bad wound, token of their last encounter with Voldemort. Lily suddenly felt concerned.

"James? What is it?" He didn't answer. "Are you alright?" she moved closer to him to get a look, as she did he sprang out at her, laughing.

"Who's the idiot now?" he chortled. Lily moved over shaking her head.

"You are four!" she said, smiling.

James surveyed her for a moment, her light skin, her beautiful green eyes, her slim, delicate figure. It had been such a long time since they had been able to be free teenagers, without much worry. He was grateful, of course, grateful that they were still able to talk and laugh unhindered, despite all that they had gone through.

"Let's go out!" he said, before he could stop himself. Lily looked slightly taken aback.

"What?" she whispered.

"Let's go out!" He repeated firmly, "Just you and me, like we used to when we were dating."

Lily considered him for a moment, her expression difficult to read.

"James, honey, we can't go out!" she said finally "Dumbledore said-"

"Who cares what he said, he can't keep us locked in here just because he's becoming paranoid"

Lily frowned "You are not being fair!"

"Of course I'm being fair! I want to go out with my wife and help her clear her head"

Lily laughed bitterly "I'm not the one who needs to clear my head." Her voice shook slightly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean, James." She looked him straight in the eye.

"Sorry, 'fraid I don't Lil, you're going to have to fill me in on this one" He frowned, as if daring her to say what was on her mind. Lily ignored his expression, she knew him far too well to think he'd go very far with a fight anyway.

"I mean, James, that you have been far too stressed out lately! I can barely talk to you! You don't sleep and you refuse to talk about what is happening! It's like you are ignoring it! It's like you just want to wave aside what is happening! And now you come to me and say that you want to go out? Are you forgetting the situation? I never expected this from you!" She took a deep steadying breath, and when she looked at him again, her eyes were oddly bright "I know you don't want this to be happening, but it is. And you have to face it, because I can't do it alone!"

James stared at her for a moment, the little colour in his face had disappeared completely "How can you say I don't face it, Lily? What do you want me to do? Lock myself in the house with you so that we can wallow in our own misery and" he gestured toward her "Fight! Of course we're going to end up fighting, stuck in here waiting for the worse to happen. I am not going to let Voldemort disrupt..."

"Oh my God!" Lily cut in, turning away and running her fingers frantically through her hair "This isn't about doing what he wants James. You. Can't. Beat. Him. Face it, James! He's after you, and this isn't about what will make him happy, this is about what is safer, what is better. Now pull yourself together, let go of your pride and look around!"

He was lost for words. Her expression softened immediately and she moved closer, getting ready to calm him, he moved away looking absolutely crestfallen.

"I am not going to lose my sanity because of this." He said flatly, turning from her and walking silently from the room. She heard him slam the front door shut.

Lily sat in the couch and waited for him to return. She knew that James was far too energetic to be kept locked up in the house. Even as she sat alone, growing increasingly worried about his whereabouts, she somehow knew that he was safe, and that he was close. She may have gone too far with her words. She knew that James would protect her to his death, but she'd rather he didn't have to; stubborn or not, wherever he was, he was thinking very carefully about what she had said. But most importantly, Lily was contemplating on her own words. She had told him to accept the fact that he couldn't beat Voldemort, she knew James would never do that, and she felt a sudden guilt for asking him to. James would know what went through her mind as much as she knew what went through his, and it was his knowledge about her fears of what would happen if he ever faced Voldemort alone that had prevented him from properly replying to what she had said. James couldn't beat Voldemort, but he would die trying, if that was what it would take for him to get somewhere. And once again Lily found that she had hoped he would assure her that he wouldn't, that he would step back and save his own skin, she had hoped for something that was not James.

She clutched at her belly, she thought for a moment that she had felt a slight pain on her sides, but it was gone before she could think much of it. Even so, she could feel that the baby would be arriving shortly and the pits of her stomach filled with mingled anxiety and excitement.

At that moment there was a loud noise from the hall. As fast as she could, Lily had bolted to her feet and grabbed her wand. But it was only James, who stumbled into the living room looking a little annoyed. He glanced at her wand and shook his head.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," he said gently, reaching out and lowering her wand hand. "I tripped on that damn coffee table on my way in. But you don't have to worry, I wasn't far, I wouldn't leave you here alone."

Lily nodded staring fixedly at James, who blushed and looked down at his feet shifting uncomfortably. She was forcefully reminded of the first time he'd asked her out.

"I'm er- well, I'm also sorry I got so mad, I'm just-"

"It's alright," Lily said "It's ok, James, just forget it. We'll work it out."

James looked doubtful "I think we should talk." He said "because if we don't talk we won't settle this, and it'll come up again."

"It's just an argument James, it happens"

"I know it does" James said, slightly impatiently "I just want to avoid them!"

"We'll avoid them then," said Lily, and she gave a sigh and placed a hand on her forehead "I'm sorry, I don't feel-"

But Lily didn't finish the sentence. She gave a gasp of pain and collapsed. James caught her, stunned, before she fell, "Lily! Lily what's wrong!" She didn't speak, only shook her head, a painful expression on her face. Reality suddenly hit James like lightening: The baby was coming! As quickly as he could, James helped Lily onto the couch and dashed upstairs to grab their things and escort her to St Mungo's.

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_Like? Hate? Review!!!_


	6. 31st July 1980

_Yes, it's been a while. I've been on holiday and I have mock exams this week so I wasn't able to post before now, even though this chapter has been written for... well, lets just say it's been written for a quite a long time._

_Nothing much happens in the next chapter, but from their on the story starts to pick up, and about time as well!_

_Thanks for all of you who reviewed! It's always appreciated. And yes, feel free to criticise mistakes as well as make complements. It always helps. _

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**Chapter 6- 31st July, 1980: **

"Prongs! Congratulations, mate! So, how is she?"

Sirius, Remus and Peter stood around James who looked both anxious and angry. Sirius was grinning from ear to ear.

"Sorry, getting ahead of myself, here. So how are you Prongs? Would you like me to hold your hand for you?"

He motioned as if to grab James hand with and expression of mock concern on his face, but James moved away, looking extremely irritable.

"They won't let me in!" He spat at the healer who had just come out of what the other Marauder's could only assume was Lily's room. "I want to watch my baby being born!"

The healer rolled her eyes and began walking away, but James leapt up followed her down the corridor. "How is she?" He asked anxiously, "Is she alright? Did she ask about me?"

"Yes and yes!" The healer answered, not stopping to look at him and disappearing into the next corridor.

James finally turned to acknowledge his friends' presence. "The great prats won't let me in" he repeated, collapsing once more onto his armchair. "Her pressure went down and she isn't making it much easier for me. Says she doesn't want me to see her like that. So obviously they won't even let me come near her." He glanced bitterly at the door.

Remus sat next to him "Don't worry." He said bracingly. "She'll be just fine. How long has she been in labour?"

"About three hours." James replied moodily "Honestly, 'doesn't want me to see her like that.' Who's she kidding? I've seen her in states that no one would believe-"

"-Or care to know!" Sirius added, laughing.

"So how long have you been here?" Peter asked quietly.

"They kicked me out of the room about an hour ago, if that's what you mean."

And with that James sat in silence, throwing occasional furious glances at passing healers.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake James!" Sirius burst out after a half-hour. "If you want to go in, then just go, its not like you haven't burst in on Evans unwanted before! If not, then take us down for some tea. But whatever you do stop sitting here like an idiot, the tension is killing me!"

"Alright then." Said James "Alright, I'm going in!"

And before anyone could say anything, James had got up and disappeared into the next room. Remus turned to glare furiously at Sirius.

"Why on earth would you do that? Lily is going to have his head and in the state he's in, they'll probably end up fighting!"

"Nah, they won't." Said Sirius knowledgeably. "I know them well by now, James is not going to explode in front of her when she's in that state. And she'll probably be relieved to see him."

James started walking slower as he reached Lily's bedside. She looked very tired and very weak. Her eyes were half closed and her hair and nightdress were drenched in sweat. She seemed to feel rather then hear him getting closer, because she turned to look at him. Her eyes widened and James was slightly amused to notice that had she not been very tired she'd already be telling him off. Lily seemed to settle instead for giving him the sternest look she could muster. He smiled, sitting next to the bed and grasping one of her hands, gently brushing some of her hair from her face.

"Alright?" He asked quietly. She nodded. He hesitated for a moment.

"I know you don't want me here..." He paused, hoping she'd say something, but she didn't, so he continued feeling slightly put out. "But I'm going to stay anyway."

Lily stared at him for a moment, then she tightened her grasp on his hand and closed her eyes. "I love you, James." She whispered, with a small smile.

Weeks later, as he looked back on the events that happened on the 31st July, James would never understand how soon after bursting in he had come to regret (even if only for a moment) disobeying Lily. For one thing, he had come to the conclusion that Lily really was off her rocker. How she had planned on going through the birth of their child without squeezing his hand until his whole arm felt numb, James did not know. But for the first time since their marriage. James had felt extremely uncomfortable around her. Besides lending his hand, he found that there was little more he could do to help his wife. She had screamed in pain and said some things to him that he would have liked her to apologise for... at that moment.

But after the baby was born, after their dark haired, green eyed baby boy had been born none of this mattered. Nothing that had happened in the past two hours mattered as James leaned close to Lily and looked down at his newborn son. Harry opened his eyes and James smiled at him, he could already tell that their baby was going to have his wife's eyes.

Lily grinned at James. "Do you want to hold him for a bit?"

"What? Erm- No! I'm alright really. Just looking is fine."

"Here, take him a little." Said Lily moving forward to pass Harry onto James' arms. He hesitated.

"I'm not sure how to hold a baby"

"Just make sure you hold his head and his back."

Figuring that holding a baby could not be that different from holding a Quaffle, James reached out to take his son. Lily drew back, looking uncertain.

"He's not a Quaffle. You know that, right?" she asked with a mock smile.

"Of course I do!" He snapped, trying to sound indignant but slightly perplexed that Lily had guessed exactly what had just gone through his mind.

And finally taking matters into his own hands, James moved forward and took Harry gently into his arms.

He had never in his life held a baby before, but somehow knew how to do things with this one. Harry was surprisingly light, and as James shifted him to his other arm he found that he could stand there holding that little thing forever. He amused himself for a moment, noticing how much his son looked like a miniature version of himself.

Lily tilted her head. "Well? Are you going to move closer so I can look at him too, or will I have to summon him back?"

"You've had him for the past half-hour!" Said James indignantly, but he sat on Lily's bed.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment Harry began to cry. James got up and tried rocking the baby gently in his arms. He winced as the screaming got loader.

"Already got Mummy's temper, then?" James said to Harry. "Great, now I have two." He shifted the baby again, giving Lily a winning look.

"Well, as long he's got you're brains." She said leaning back onto her pillow and watching James' progress around the room. "And not your knack for trouble. I'll go insane if he burns down the house."

"We don't burn down houses, we blow up toilettes, steal teacher's wigs and..." James' eyes brightened. "Work out ways of getting into the girl's dormitories and leave snails in their slippers."

Lily's eyes widened. "That was YOU! I KNEW IT! I knew it, James! That could only have been you! And was it you that put the invisibility charm on my transfiguration book?"

James shook his head, and then sighed dramatically "Unfortunately not, I missed out on that one because I was serving detention for giving Snape a Mohawk... Sirius did a good job with that, though." He grinned mischievously "It got you talking to me at any rate! Anyway, Harry." He turned his attention back on the crying baby. "If you do want to burn down the house, then daddy will help you with it! And maybe Sirius and I can advise you on how to become an illegal animagi like us before you go to Hogwarts..."

"Will you keep you're voice down James!" Lily hissed urgently.

James snorted "I very much doubt anyone heard what I just said Lil, with the racket you're son is making." He focused on the baby, and slowly the screaming subsided and Harry turned his attention on his father's hand and closed his own little hand around James' finger.

It was at that moment that reality hit James for the first time, he was a father.


	7. Jest

_It's been a while. I'd like to thank Nats for being my beta and giving this fic so much support!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 7- Jest:**

"Give him back!"

"I've only had him for five minutes, give me more time, you're always the one who gets to keep him for longer."

"Stop being so selfish, James!"

"Aren't you meant to be in recovery, honeybunch? Why don't you take a little nap?"

"You know, technically, I have a right to claim, since-"

"Don't say he's more yours just because he came out of you." James paused, the mischievous look on his face told Lily at once that he was about so say or do something silly. "Though technically, he did come out of ME first, so..."

"That so does not count!"

"Why does it not count?"

"I carried him for nine months!"

"I carried him for twenty years!"

"I got fat!"

"Well, so did I. When I was about eight, my mum had to take me to a healer, and that's when she found out that Sirius and I had been sneaking off to Diagon Alley to buy sweets while she was at work, and then I was grounded for a month and Sirius's mum put a curse on him that gave him an itch in the-"

"Alright, alright, alright! I don't want to know! Just give him back when you're done gaping like and idiot."

James looked very triumphant. Lily couldn't help but feel slightly amused; he always managed to talk his way into getting what he wanted. She sometimes found that she would do anything to just get him to stop talking nonsense.

Harry shifted and then began making noises that, his parents knew by now, could only mean he was about to start crying. James stood up and began walking around rocking baby in his arms. At that moment the same healer to whom James had so frantically asked questions to the day before came into the room carrying a tray with potions for Lily.

"You two have visitors, can I let them in?" She asked Lily, who nodded.

Harry started screaming at the top of his lungs. The healer turned to James.

"The baby needs his mother now."

Lily smiled at James and motioned him toward her, but he hesitated, giving the healer a resentful look and turning to Lily.

"I'm his father, I can solve anything for him."

"He's hungry." Said the healer

Lily's smile widened "Are you going to breast-feed now, James?"

James laughed, blushing slightly. "Now that, honey, is all you." And deliberately ignoring the healer he crossed the room and handed Harry back to Lily.

The healer gave James a very repressive look and left, returning moments later with Remus, Sirius and Peter. Sirius greeted James cheerfully and then approached Lily, but doubled back his face scarlet.

"Heh, ok then! Uh -Lily is busy... and so apparently, is Harry. I'll just sit here and wait until they're finished, ok?"

And he sat down, looking purposefully at the ceiling with such a disconcerted expression on his face that Lily was overcome with a fit of hysterical laughter, which caused Harry to stop feeding for a moment and glance up at his mother in what she could have sworn was an alarmed expression on his little face.

Peter and Remus, deciding not to make the same mistake as Sirius, acknowledged Lily from afar and sat next to their friend, both with expressions of amusement identical to the one worn by James. They chatted for a while, and after about fifteen minutes James turned to Lily.

"Time to change sides!" and then he smirked at Sirius "Hey, Padfoot, could you help her with that? I'm a little _fatigued_..."He stretched his legs lazily.

Sirius made a gesture that would have earned a very disapproving look from Lily if she had been looking, but he otherwise ignored James' taunt and continued the subject they had been discussing.

"So, I guess there's not much hope for the Cannons, they are dropping more and more every year! Didn't even last an hour against the Wasps yesterday, shame really!"

"Would have been different if James here had joined the team." Peter smirked. James rolled his eyes. Peter could always be counted upon to blurt out the wrong thing at the wrong time. He, James, generally avoided talk about his Quidditch career. He had of course, been invited to play by a few teams, but one could not get married, be an active member of the Order of the Phoenix, get a job and be an international Quidditch player all at once. So he had had to give up Quidditch. It was either that or to give up on marrying Lily, the choice had been surprisingly easy to make. Still, he did not love the subject very much and Lily liked it even less, it made her feel slightly guilty and generally led to very uncomfortable discussions, almost all of which ended up with them going to bed in bad terms.

Lily, however, had either not paid much attention to the conversation or chosen to ignore it. She was still busying herself with Harry, looking rather transfixed.

As James turned around to get himself another mug of Butterbeer, Sirius slapped Peter on the back of the head. Then he lifted his own mug of butterbeer.

"To Harry, likely to be the most stubborn child ever born!"

"Hear, Hear!" said Remus cheerfully

"And powerful too." Said Peter "Fifty bucks says he'll be fighting Voldemort before any other child born this year!"

Oh Great! From bad to worse. Now all James needed was for Sirius to let slip something about the prophecy and the light atmosphere present since Harry's birth would be smothered. He looked over at Lily and felt his stomach sink several inches, this time she had been listening. Her eyes had completely lost their brightness.

He exchanged a nervous glance with Sirius and then gave his friends meaningful looks. Both Sirius and Remus caught on. They stood up simultaneously.

"Best be off," said Sirius.

"You guys must be exhausted!" Said Remus. "Have some rest, we'll be back tomorrow, c'mon Wormtail." Peter was wearing and expression that looked oddly like comprehension to James, but it was gone before he could really make out what it meant. Peter waved goodbye to Lily and James and left the room with Remus and Sirius.

James moved toward Lily, getting ready to comfort her. Firstly he took the now sleeping Harry from her arms. He walked cautiously to the small crib on the foot of Lily's bed and placed the baby gently inside it. He turned back and sat on the bed next to Lily, pulling her toward him. Minutes passed in silence, and then she spoke.

"Do you think Dumbledore is certain, that..." She took a deep breath. "That he is after our baby?" Her voice shook slightly as she said this, she looked up at him and he knew at once that she wanted re-assurance. He wanted to give it to her... but he was not going to lie.

"Dumbledore doesn't waste words. If he told us that, then there must be a very good reason."

Lily lay her head on his shoulder.

"James..." She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Jest"

James stared. "S-Sorry?"

"Jest." She repeated. "Make a joke, any joke. Just say something funny!"

"What?" He asked, utterly perplexed. "Why?"

"Because I want to laugh!"

"Ok, so do I. But that doesn't explain why you're suddenly wanting me to be bad-time wag. You're always saying I should take things less lightly, so why do you want me to laugh now?"

"Because- I don't want to cry anymore." She wrapped her arms around him. "I don't want to cry today!"

"Hey." He said gently, running his fingers through her hair. "Don't think about it, okay?"

She nodded but didn't look very apt to complying with what he'd said, so he added. "Dumbledore is just being precautious, we were always capable of looking after ourselves. Don't worry just now. We don't even _know_ enough to worry about it properly, anyway!" He finished bitterly.

She looked up at him. "Ok, now don't you start with that again!"

"I didn't start anything. You're the one who's worrying about it!"

"I wouldn't be if I hadn't been reminded of it!"

"Yeah, I know. Peter always does that kind of thing." James suddenly sounded irritated. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"He really annoys you, doesn't he?"

"Well." James sighed. "It's just... He's my friend, of course, but would it kill him to just think before he spoke? He always does that, it ticks me off!"

"It's not his fault though, he doesn't know."

James nodded. "Well, when it comes to that, we don't nei-"

"_Drop it_!"

He raised his hands in resignation "Look, I was just saying..."

"...Well don't say, the last thing we need is more meddling in stuff we don't need to mess with."

He felt a surge of irritation, but decided to drop it for the sake of the situation. "Fine then." He moved his arms around her waste. "I'll drop my stubbornness about my problems of knowledge and _you..._" He moved his face very close to hers. " You are officially forbidden from having any forms of fretting. Deal?"

Lily smiled and bit her lip. "Deal!"

They lay there in silence, and James contemplated on his promise, it was irking him more then he could have expected. They knew nothing, nothing to make them worry much at the moment, but privately, James decided that it was high time for him to find out.


	8. Sore Limbs and Strollers

My apologies for the long delay. The truth is that I've had these chapters ready for a while now. So I will keep on posting, even it it takes some time. I'm just a little busy at school right now.

Thanks to all that reviewed and to Nats who can honestly say that she enjoys being a supportive beta!

* * *

**Chapter 8- Sore Limbs and Strollers:**

Lily awoke feeling incredibly sick the next day. Her head was throbbing violently and she appeared to have slept on top of her arm, it felt oddly numb. It was only when she sat upright that she realised, she and James had probably fallen asleep together in her hospital bed. Lily turned around, looking for him, but he wasn't there. Wondering briefly what cause had driven James from her side so early in the morning, she slowly attempted to stand, but she realised almost at once that that would be no easy feat, she hadn't stood up since before she'd given birth, and her legs seemed to have lost a bit of their balance.

When Lily eventually managed to stand upright, she walked up to Harry's crib. He was already awake, staring up at the ceiling and moving his little arms and legs energetically. She smiled down at him.

"Why, aren't you a little angel!" She remarked, picking the baby up and holding him to face her. "Up already and you didn't even wake me!" Harry moaned lightly in response and continued to kick his little legs aimlessly in the air.

Lily decided she'd better pace around the room to regain the proper feel of her legs. Her eyes suddenly fell upon a hastily scribbled note lying on top of her bed sheets. She picked it up, and read:

_Dear Lil, _

_Enchanting night, I think I may have a slight back spasm._

_Next time, be sure to remind me to sleep holding your _

_hand, as opposed to having my arm around you. I might_

_never be able to bend my elbow again. I'll be glad_

_when we can sleep in our own bed again. Which, may I remind_

_you, has enough snuggle-space and a SOFT mattress._

_I found out that the Longbottoms were here yesterday, they_

_apparently had their son the day before we did. _

_While you and Harry sleep on, I'm gonna go off and explore _

_for a bit, I should be back soon... try not to miss me too much._

_Love,_

_James_

_Ps: Sorry, rhetoric question: did you sleep well? I noticed you were_

_leaning a bit too much on you're left arm, but I didn't want to_

_move you in case you awoke and bit my head off. I'll expect a_

_full list of sore limbs when I get back!_

_Pss: I just think you should know that there's a slight possibility_

_that yesterday's healer might not show up today..._

Lily shook her head smiling and put the note in her pocket. She wondered briefly what made James think that the healer may not be returning, but then she decided she did not want to know.

"Blood hell!"

It was with deepest frustration that James once again attempted to figure out how to work Harry's baby stroller, as he and Lily prepared to leave the hospital.

Why Lily insisted on using the wretched thing, James would never understand. It was impossible to work; yet his wife thought it was 'practical' to fold it. James snorted.

"Practical sure, if you have three hours to spare in which to figure out how to UNfold it..." He attempted to take off the breaks. It didn't work. He tripped and almost fell. He went to the other side and pulled the stroller by the wheel. The thing promptly fell, handle hitting him painfully on the shin. James pushed the gadget away, cursing, and sat on the floor massaging his pulsing ankle.

"Why don't you get Harry's stroller ready James?" He muttered grumpily, in a perfect imitation of Lily. "Honestly, I can understand not wanting to leave the muggle-world completely, but there should be a rule against this kind of stuff... stupid thing doesn't even need a break. It never works anyway. If I find out who's the dolt that came up with the idea of folding this thing up, I'll hex him into the next millennium." He brutally attempted to unfold the stroller; this time he was slightly successful. The stroller opened with a snap and it's lower part hit James with such force that he was knocked to the ground, his already impaired back burning in pain.

Muttering all the swear words he could think off under his breath, James got up and found that he could not stand straight.

Lily came into the room carrying an overly bundled up Harry in her arms. She looked from James to the stroller and then raised her eyebrow inquiringly, the sides of her lips twitching.

"That – stupid. Harry's stroller made a pass at me!" James said grumpily, his hand still on his back.

Lily burst out laughing. "I-don't-BELIEVE-IT!" She giggled, walking over to the stroller, adjusting it and then placing Harry inside. She turned to face James, looking thoroughly amused. "I leave you here for five minutes. I come back and the score is fifty –zero for the stroller!"

"Those Muggle devices are designed to make my life hell, Lily! Why can't we just CARRY the baby home, I don't mind doing it!"

"Bet you can't now with you're new hunchback!" James frowned. Lily snickered again.

"Here." She said gently, moving him to sit down on a chair. He winced in pain. "I'm just going to put a Tranquillising Charm on that, it'll ease the pain for a while... so that I don't have to look after two babies at once." She waved her wand and the ache subsided, James stood up easily.

Lily turned back, probably to make sure that Harry was secure in his stroller before they left, but James grabbed her by the waste and turned her around to face him. He gave her a small peck on the lips.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just unwisely insulted my puerile innocence, and say: thank you!" He kissed her again, and this time she responded. Then he broke the embrace and added. "But just in case you're thinking I'm not going to come back to this... I will! Marauders always retaliate, and I'm sticking to that rule!"

"Fine." She said. "I can deal with that."

"Good." He said. "Now let's get out of here before this stupid thing decides to fold itself or something." And he cautiously began to push the stroller, looking extremely calculating and doubtful.


	9. AFeeling

**Chapter 9- A ... Feeling:**

Three in the morning. And for the fifth time that night, James heard the distinctive sound of his son's crying, followed by a low, tired groan next to him. He rubbed his eyes and turned his head to look at Lily, who was staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, huge shadows underneath her eyes.

"Didn't you sleep?" He asked her.

"Fifteen minutes." Lily murmured dully, turning round to face him as well. "He can't be hungry, I fed him less then an hour ago!"

"I'll go get him, you have some sleep."

James got up groggily and made his way to Harry's bedroom. The baby was lying on the crib, his face red from screaming and his little hands clenched, moving very quickly up and down. James picked the baby up and cradled him in his arms, Harry stopped crying almost at once and looked up at his father, his hands and feet still moving at a very fast rate. James checked the baby's diapers, which turned out to be dry.

"What's wrong with you?" He said frowning down at Harry. "You can't be hungry and you're not wet. You should be asleep." Harry moaned softly, one of his little fists in his mouth. He was sucking on it expectantly. James tilted his head. "Oh no! No more feeding for you until at least five o'clock. You need to let your mum and me sleep for a bit too, you know?"

But as it turned out, Harry wasn't in the mood for sleep at all, and it was way past four o'clock before James made his way back to bed. He was satisfied to see that Lily was asleep for a change. He lay next to her for a while, but soon realised that he wasn't up to sleeping anymore. He got up again, went downstairs and sat on the living room couch. Why was he feeling defenceless? Something was not right about the lingering silence in his house, he tried to shake these thoughts out of his mind, he must be getting paranoid...No, there was something about the way the wind didn't make the branches of a nearby tree tap the window. And now it came to it, why was Lily's dream catcher not ringing softly? He felt oddly vigilant and he somehow didn't think it would be a good idea to go to bed just now, not with his wife and child sleeping upstairs. He walked slowly to the bottom stair and sat down on it, pulling his wand out as he did. A good half-hour passed in silence before James finally dozed off.

James was startled out of his sleep by someone moving toward him. Quick as a flash, he was on his feet and had sent a spell in the person's direction. His spell missed Lily by mere inches, blasting a nearby china object. Lily turned to stare at him, utterly benumbed. James lowered his wand; trying hard not to imagine what would have happened had his aim been accurate.

"Sorry." He muttered. Lily crossed her arms and continued to glare. "I just... couldn't sleep." He finished lamely. She looked at the spot where he had been sitting seconds before.

"It's no wonder you couldn't sleep." She said finally.

"Yeah, well..." said James sheepishly, running his hand through his hair, she pulled it away.

"Is it too much to ask you to leave you is hair alone?" Then she surveyed him. "Come to think of it, you might look better with it smooched. Goes with your dishevelled appearance."

James laughed, but stopped when his eyes met Lily's; her face was etched with concern.

"James, what are you doing here? You haven't slept properly in days. Dozing off on the stairs isn't going to improve you're back spasm. You're going to get sick!"

"Come off it Lil, I'm not five."

"No." She said, moving closer. "But I still care about you. I'm worried. Why are you here?"

"I just-" Said James, feeling slightly stupid. "I had this..."

"Feeling." Lily finished for him, nodding. "Go to bed, James. Get some sleep."

"I'm really not tired, Lil. I think I'll just help you-"

Lily snatched his wand from him and pointed it at him. " Go and get some sleep or I'll hex you!"

"Are you going to let me finish any sentences today?"

"GO JAMES!"

"I'm NOT tired!"

Even Dumbledore would have shrunk at the look that Lily gave James now.

"Go and get some rest or I'll shut you out for a week! I mean it James. You give it a try!"

"My mother would have been so proud of you. No really, congratulations! In two years of marriage you could give her a run for her money!"

Lily continued to point his wand at him.

"Fine!" He said irritably. "_Fine_! I'm going."

He was about halfway up the stairs when he turned back to face her.

"Can I at least have my wand back?" Lily raised an eyebrow. James nodded. "Didn't think so..."

* * *

"Wake-up James, wake-up!"

James had barely slept for an hour when he felt his wife shaking him awake once more. He groaned loudly, and covered his head with a pillow.

"Ok, now that's just cruel." His voice sounded muffled. "You send me to the comfort of my bed and then you won't even let me enjoy it! I take back what I said about you being like my mother, now you're just being Sirius!"

"Shut up and listen!" She pulled the pillow off his head; his hair was sticking out in all possible angles. "_Please_!"

"What?" said James, turning around aggravated? "You're so bossy-" He faltered when he saw the look on Lily's face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Lily bit her lip, looking scared.

"What happened?" James said urgently. "Where's Harry?" He got up so fast, he forgot that he was wrapped on the blanket, and fell flat on the floor. He stumbled to his feet again, one leg still wrapped on a blanket, but he wasn't paying attention to that.

"Well?" He urged her, "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Lily, who had been watching James with an almost entertained expression on her face, snapped back to reality.

"I was going to go outside to take out the trash and I couldn't open the door. So I went round through the living room door and that was jammed too. I forced it open, and it turns out that I don't think I was the first one to try and do so. Both doors were tampered with. That-" She paused and took a steadying breath. "That feeling you told me you had... It just came back to me."

James frowned. "Someone tried to get into the house?"

Lily nodded; she looked panicky now. "It's not- Oh James! You don't think it's him, do you?"

James shook his head. "Can't be." He said. "He would have been able to blast himself in. Besides, I'm pretty sure that whoever it was must have tried to sneak in. That's why they gave up when they couldn't get past the door. And they tried both doors. Voldemort himself wouldn't come over to our house just to sneak in. He wouldn't have to." The obscure feeling brought by the silence in the house came back to James. "That's odd..." He muttered.

"What is?"

"The silence..."

"Silence?"

He sat on the bed next to her and looked straight into her eyes. "What struck me tonight was the fact that everything was too quiet. I couldn't even hear the wind. It was just placid. But that can't be right, can it? If a person is trying to break in, then total silence would just give them away."

Lily considered this for a moment. "Maybe..." she said slowly. "Maybe they wanted to hear what was going on in the house."

James's eyes widened. "A Spy!"

They sat in silence for a moment, and then a diversion in the form of Harry's crying brought them both back to reality. Lily started getting up to go tend to Harry, but James pulled her back by the arm.

"I wasn't the only one who noticed." He said. "Harry did too, he was unsettled. I know he felt it also. We're going to run this by Dumbledore."

Lily nodded and proceeded out of them room, her face white as chalk.


	10. Promises Again

**Chapter 10- Promises Again:**

Dumbledore sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Well Lily, James, I think we now know that my assumptions were correct. He is after you."

"Now here's the BIG question-," said James in a haughty tone that Lily knew all too well; she cut across him before he could finish.

"What do we do now, Dumbledore? Do we move? Do we go into hiding?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "My best suggestion to the two of you would be to keep your moves secret, and stick together."

James snorted. "We've been doing that already and we're not about to stop now."

Lily gave James a stern look; she did not like his manner of speaking at all. He obviously caught the hint, because it was with a much lighter tone that he spoke to Dumbledore next.

"But won't it be better for us to go into hiding, Professor?"

Dumbledore shook his head again. "He's not coming after you just now, he knows better than to just show up at your house. It is my belief that he is still attempting to find out safer means of attacking you. I do not think it is necessary to completely lock the two of you up for an unknown period of time, it would only show him that you feel vulnerable."

"So that's it?" James asked, incredulous. "That's all the advice you have to give us? Do nothing and wait?"

Dumbledore was unabashed. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me, James?"

James looked like he was willing to continue with the argument, but Lily stood up and grasped his hand. "Thank you professor, we'd better go now." And she walked briskly out of the room,dragging James with her.

* * *

"You could have at least allowed me to finish talking. I think I might have got somewhere!" 

Lily snorted. "James the only place you were getting was on my nerves."

"Well that's nice to know Lil, really great. Now our visit to Dumbledore was completely useless!"

Lily and James made their way, hand in hand, down a very packed Diagon Alley, where they would meet Sirius, Remus and Peter at Florean Fortescue's to pick up Harry, and hopefully do a bit of last minute shopping before they headed back home.

"It was NOT completely useless, it's always good to keep Dumbledore informed, and you'd admit that if you weren't stubborn as a brick wall!"

James snorted "That's rich isn't it? 'Stubborn as a brick wall', honestly I can't believe I'm hearing this from you of all people!"

"Oh _please_, James, I'm not even half as bad as you are!"

"Yeah, sure," said James tightening his grip on her hand and directing her to the table where his friends were sitting, "it took me four years of BEGGING to get you to walk around Hogsmeade with me for an hour."

"Tell me, that promise you made to me about dropping the subject, was that an intentional lie, or was there a grain of truth in it somewhere at that moment?"

"Yeah, I like the way you just changed the subject so you wouldn't have to admit how _stubborn_ you are!"

Before Lily could reply, Sirius had cut in. "Are you two aware that you're still bickering, or do you normally go through the ritual with intertwined hands?"

Lily and James turned to find all three of their friends staring at them. James glared at Sirius, who shrugged. "Only pointing out the obvious."

James turned his attention to Harry who's little legs were visible kicking around inside his stroller. He picked upthe baby and held him close to his shoulder.

"So are you guys going to the meeting tomorrow?" He asked no one in particular.

"Yeah," said Remus, "how are you two going to make it with Harry, Lily's parents?"

Lily shrugged, thinking that given the current situation, they might not be able to leave Harry with her Muggle parents. But James nodded "Yeah, I reckon so, I don't think we can take him."

Lily turned to stare inquiringly at James, but he clearly wasn't going to explain his reply just now.

"Alright," he said, getting up and handing Harry over to Lily. "Meet you here in twenty, then?"

Lily nodded and said good-bye to the Marauders, giving James a peck on the cheek, and made her way toward the wizard shops with Harry.

* * *

Lily arrived at the store and gathered some things she needed for the house, as well as extra dippers for Harry and a really efficient looking milk purifier for later on, when she'd stop feeding Harry herself. She was just making her way toward the counter when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she wheeled around, slightly startled, and found herself face to face with Amy Macdonald, who'd been Head Girl in Lily's fifth year, and another girl who Lily only vaguely remembered for being Amy's friend at school. 

"Lily Evans!" Amy nodded, smiling.

"Hi Amy, how are you?" Lily said, feeling slightly awkward. She didn't really know Amy, but she had always found her nice.

"I'm fine. And how are you?" And without waiting for a reply, she added."You have a baby."

"Yeah, this is Harry."

"Aw, he's gorgeous Lily!" Amy peered down atHarry. "I didn't know you got married, you're so young."

"Oh, James and I got married over two years ago..."

"James?"Amy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Not James _Potter_?"

Lily nodded, grinning slightly. Everyone who had been to Hogwarts in her time knew James.

"I didn't know you dated James Potter." Amy said curiously. Lily felt her cheeks go red.

"Well, that was after you left. We only dated when we were in seventh year."

The girl next to Amy nodded. "I remember he liked you."

"Well, congratulations." Said Amy, Lily thought she sounded slightly breathless. "James Potter, that's a – _great catch_!" There was something about her tone that made Lily scowl.

"What do you mean by 'great catch'?"

Amy smiled. "Oh don't worry, Lily I was only joking."

"Joking?"

"Well, you know, rich guy, likes you, good wizard, so he's a great catch, especially these days. Isn't he?"

"No," said Lily haughtily, "I'd say it was a great catch for me because I married someone I love."

And with that she turned on her heel and pushed Harry's stroller out of the shop, her head buzzing with things that she should have said. _Why _did people always assume that she had got married because there was something in it for her? The Death Eaters and blood purists she could deal with, but people like Amy? And Lily knew what the real reason for that insinuation had been; people were always shocked to find out that someone like James,who hadcome from one of the most traditional wizard families inEurope,had wound up with a Muggle-born. She halted at the ice cream store and waited impatiently for James to arrive. She spotted him coming from the Quidditch supply shop.

"Hey!" He said smiling and making his way toward her. "You're back early, are we all done?"

She nodded without looking at him and proceeded to move the trolley as fastas she could down the street.

James stared.

"Are you alright?"

"Wonderful!" she snarled "Never been better. Can we just go, please?"

He placed his hand on hers in a attempt to stop her moving. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing, James. Nothing! Why do you always have to be notified of everything? Sometimes I don't want to tell you, just because you're beyond me doesn't mean-" She broke off, and moved her hand away from his.

James looked totally bewildered. "I'm sorry Lil, are we fighting? Because I wasn't aware of it."

"I want to get out of here!" She made as if to pull the stroller, but James once again stopped her.

"You are not handling my son in the state you're in, I'm pushing."

Lily moved away from the stroller. "Ok, that's good then James. That's better. People will probably think it's preferred that you manage the baby. I'm really just in this family for the money."

"Lily, what the hell?" His voice was slightly shaken. He pushed the stroller toward the exit of The Leaky Cauldron. "I never said anything like that. 'People will think?' Since when do you care what people think?"

Lily sighed in frustration. "It's easy for you, everyone loves you. You're perfect, you are _acceptable_!" She waited for him to reply, but he merely continued to look stumped. She did note, however, that there was a slight trace of anger in his eyes.

"I don't want to talk to you when you are like this." He said shortly.

"Good, because I don't want to talk to you at all!"

James merely shrugged. "If it makes you happy. It makes no difference to me."

This only served to irritate Lily further. She moved in front of the stroller.

"You can't even pretend to care, can you? Why can't you at least try and be serious?"

James took a deep calming breath. "Do you like arguing with me Lily?" He asked dryly. "Or is there another reason why I should take your bate? I. Am. Not. Going. To. Fight! And if by now you don't know how much I care, then maybe there_ is_ a problem with you."

He continued to push the stroller, looking resolutely ahead, his cheeks burning with anger. A feeling of shame mingled with fury began to rise in Lily's chest, and she felt angry tears sliding down her cheeks. James didn't notice this at first, but as they arrived at Godric's Hollow, he caught a glimpse of her teary face.

"Hey," he said, trying to be gentle, but Lily noticed a slight stiffness in his voice. "Let's talk, alright?"

"I just need some time alone!" She said, and with that she walked away toward the back of the house.

An hour later, Lily moved into the kitchen, feeling both sad and slightly ashamed of having snapped at James with such brutality. She started getting some things out of the storage for dinner. James was sitting in the kitchen table, staring motionless at the floor. Hehad not looked up when she came in.

Lily bit her lip; she had needlessly caused an argument. She wanted to fix it, but wasn't sure whether or not it would be a good idea to bring up the subject again, she therefore decided to make a stab at a conversation. "Are you hungry?" She asked tentatively. James laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"Oh no. You can't do that, Lily." He said flatly, getting up.

"Do what?" She inquired, genuinely confused.

"That! Rage at me for no good reason and then act like you didn't do it." James paused staring at her. "I don't do it to you. You could at least show me the same courtesy."

He roughly pulled out his wand, summoned himself a glass of water and stomped out of the room.

Lily stood there for a moment, torn.And then, making up her mind, she ran after him, reaching him halfway into the living room and grasping his arm.

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry." He said nothing at first, refusing to meet her eyes.

"I don't want an apology." He snapped. "I want you to tell me why you were acting like that."

Lily bit her lip, and then proceeded to tell him about the encounter with Amy and her friend at the shop. As she had expected James frowned and looked slightly irritated with her, but whatever scolding he might have felt like giving her, he held it in.

"Amy Troster? Isn't she that girl who gave me one week of detention in Fourth Year?"

Lily couldn't help but laugh at this. "She was also Hogwarts Head Girl"

"Yeah, yeah!" James waved a hand dismissevely. "I know who she is, her mother was friends with my mum. Her family was a major failure. Which would explain why she's now trying to find problems in ours."

Lily shrugged. "There was something about hearing it from her..."

"That was not the first time you threw that comment at me Lily. You can't let people get to you like that!"

"Easy for you isn't it? You don't get any of it." Lily replied dully.

James raised an eyebrow. "Oh don't I? And that outburst from you was what? I can tell you now, things like these are always hurtful, but hearing it from you is far worse than from someone else."

Lily hung her head. "I was just irritated, everyone seems to think-"

James grabbed her chin and forced her head upward to face him. "People are always going to talk. If you marry someone rich you're after their money, if you marry someone simpler then you, then it's because you couldn't do better, if you marry someone like you, then you only did it because it's socially acceptable. Just ignore it, alright?" She nodded. "And stop saying things like that to me, its horrible coming from you."

"I'm sorry." She said again. "I just wanted to hear you say that you didn't believe any of it."

James stared at her "You _know_ I don't, it's all a pile of dragon dung. I can't believe you need my reassurance when it comes to this."

She nodded, still feeling cheerless. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her brow. "Lily, I know we are going through a lot, but we can't start taking it out on each other, because if we do we are going to end up ruining our relationship. We can't turn whatever people say into a worthless argument."

"Alright." Lily grasped his hands and wrapped them tighter around her waist. "I'll try and keep my tone of voice at a reasonable level next time."

"Yes you will." James agreed."And you will stop letting things other people say affect you."

Lily smirked. "I think someone is having issues grasping the concept of other people interfering in his life." She said looking triumphantly up at him.

"Well I don't like it."

"No," she sniggered, "you're too _stubborn_ to allow it."

"I am NOT too st-" James began huffily, but Lily cut him off.

"Come on," she said, freeing herself from him and pulling him toward the kitchen, "help me put the shopping away."


	11. Padfoot and Prongs

**Chapter 11- Padfoot and Prongs:**

James paced around the room. "So then he says that he has got wind that Voldemort might also be aware of this mysterious Prophecy that I can't know about!" He wheeled around to find Sirius gaping at him.

"Well!" James snapped impatiently. "Say something!"

Sirius continued to stare for a while. "But... I don't get it!" He said finally.

"Well, welcome to my club, we've got jackets! Dragon hide, with "The Unenlightened" written on the back!"

"Don't joke about this James!" Sirius scorned.

"Well what do you want me to do Sirius? I tell you this and the best you can say to me is 'I don't get it!' Well I don't either!"

"That's not what I meant. What I did mean was that if it concerns your family alone, then there shouldn't be any reason for you not to know."

"Oh, well done!" said James cynically. Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I now officially worship your wife. Don't know how she lives you." He said irritably. "Anyway, what I meant to say was that maybe there's a possibility that the prophecy doesn't concern your unborn baby. Maybe he is not sure, and that's why he can't tell you." James looked slightly more interested, but still determinedly moody.

"Yeah maybe," he said dismissevely. "But that still doesn't change the fact that I need to worry about that raving lunatic coming into my house and hurting my family."

Sirius' arms dropped and he wheeled around to look at his best friend. James seemed unusuallyexasperated, fear like Sirius had never seen before was marking every inch of his friend's face.

"Don't worry about it, Prongs." He said bracingly. "You aren't an easy target, and don't you make the mistake of underestimating Lily, I bet Voldemort is even scared of her."

James grinned. "I know Sirius. But I can't sit here and do nothing." He looked up at his friend. "I can't!" He said, more firmly andstood up. "This might be a mistake, but if it comes to it... will you help me?"

"Do what?"

"Never mind that now, but if it gets to a situation where I need your help Padfoot-"

"-I'm always there for you Prongs." Sirius cut in. "Always."

"Alright," said James hurriedly, "I think that the only thing we can-" but he broke off at the sound of footsteps coming from the hall. Seconds later, Lily was in the room, looking curiously from one man to the other.

"Are you two plotting?" She asked, looking suspiciously at James, who grinned.

"Maybe." He said smiling.

Lily scowled.

"I'll leave you two to it!" Sirius said quickly, leaving the room. James made his way toward Lily and wrapped his arms around her from behind, he moved closer as if to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"Don't be a killjoy Lily, it gives me nostalgia!" James said sweetly, forcing her back toward him and kissing her neck.

"What were you and Sirius talking about?" She asked suspiciously, tryingonly half heartedlyto force himaway her.

"We were trying to figure out the best way to replace those awful curtains in our living room without you noticing." He hugged her even tighter, and kissed her again.

"I'm- _serious- _James!" She said, in between his nuzzles. James let go abruptly.

"And now the moment is ruined!" He said grumpily. "Great choice of words, thanks!"

Lily looked at him very seriously. "I trust you, James." She said quietly. "Don't you forget that. I hope you haven't been _sharing_ without talking to me first."

"I wasn't doing anything!" James said rather urgently. "Why are you making this whole interrogation? I'm the one who should be mad at you for giving me baneful coffee!"

"I just find it a little odd." Lily said quietly.

"What's odd? Me talking to Sirius? That used to be the most quotidian thing in the world for you and everyone else!"

Lily nodded. "I know. I just don't see why you couldn't do it in the living room." James opened his mouth but she cut in, "It's alright. I told you already, I trust you."

James felt a small pang of guilt as she grabbed his hand and led him out of the study.

* * *

"James!" Sirius whispered. "Prongs wake-up!" he grabbed Lily's pillow and tossed it a James' head.

"Wha-? Where's Lily? What's the time?"

"I think Lily fell asleep in Harry's room, and its 5:30 am." Sirius whispered, his eyes dancing with excitement.

James groaned. "I hate you!"

Sirius gave a small chuckle. "That's not the Prongs I remember!"

"The Prongs you remember wasn't married and did not have a baby that wakes up every two hours!" James replied moodily.

Sirius snorted. "If _married _Prongs stayed up all night, that is his own fault... well, and Lily's. As for the baby, I sympathise. though technically that is also your fau-"

"Ugh! Shut up Sirius, it's too early in the morning for your dirty, immature, testosterone-driven jokes!" James snapped. "May I at least inquire as to why I'm being forced out of bed at such an unreasonable hour? Does Lily know you're here?"

"Nope."

James raised his eyebrows. "No? How did you get in?"

Sirius glared at him. "You told me how to get into the house, Prongs. I have a key; I know what you and Lily did to the doors. It wasn't all that hard!"

"You aren't meant to burst in unless it's an emergency, Sirius!"

"I have some stuff to tell you, about... you know."

James was shocked. "And you came here to talk about that? Padfoot, are you insane?" He hissed.

Sirius shrugged. "You always seemed to think so." James continued to scowl, so he added. "Alright, I didn't know how else to talk to you, so I figured I'd venture into your house and see if I could sneak you out for a while."

"Act first, think later, huh? We're lucky Lily is asleep; I don't suppose you thought about the fright you'd give her if you had met her at the corridor. I already almost hexed her once." He paused and surveyed Sirius. "How long is it going to take me to talk you out of doing this now?"

Sirius hesitated for a moment, pretending to think, and then. "I think I found out who made the prophecy that Dumbledore was referring to."

James eyes widened, he suddenly felt wide awake. "Come on!" he whispered, getting up and pulling Sirius out of the room.

* * *

"Trelawney?" James frowned "Is she related to _the_ Cassandra Trelawney?"

Sirius shook his head. "No idea, mate. I reckon so; I hear she's the new Divination teacher now, started two months ago, a little before Harry was born."

James was silent for a while, his eyes fixed on a small portrait of Lily, Harry and himself on the day Harry had been born.

"Makes sense doesn't it?" He murmured. "Dumbledore finds this seer, she makes an important prophecy right in front of him, so he takes her to work at Hogwarts, right under his nose."

Sirius put his hand on James' shoulder. "Prongs, you need to relax a little, there's nothing you can do-"

"Oh but there is," said James seriously. "There is Sirius, and I'm going to do it. I'm not losing another family. I'm going to find a way to contact this woman!"

Sirius laughed "Come off it James. Use your common sense. Dumbledore has the woman well placed so that _Voldemort_ can't speak to her, what makes you think that _you_ have a chance to get that information."

James' eyes glinted, and the familiar mischievous grin Sirius knew only too well appeared on his face. "Since when has a little obstacle like this one got in our way, Padfoot?" He asked, almost cheerfully. "First we make our plan, then we start from the outside and work our way in!"

Sirius looked bemused. "You're spending too much time with Dumbledore, mate. Stop speaking in riddles."

"Well," said James thoughtfully, "First thing I need to know is how far you'll help me, because I can't leave home that much and you're the only one I trust with my family's life."

Sirius grinned. "If my help was all you needed, you could consider the job done."

James smiled back, and nodded."Alright, in that case, the next thing we'll need is to retrace Dumbledore's steps, where, how and when he first contacted this woman. We also need to know who she is and what will attract her attention."

"I'm on tothat! I was always the meddler of the group anyway."

"Alright, and now I need to secure Harry. You know, somewhere to leave him for Order meetings. I'm not leaving him with anyone that Voldemort might suspect, especially not Lily's parents, they are vulnerable targets."

"But didn't you say at Diagon Alley that Harry would stay with the Evans'?" Sirius asked curiously.

James sighed exasperatedly. "You are all so _slow _these days! This is the first time when I can say that Peter's the only one who has not come to me with thick questions. I already explained this to Lily, Remus was a dolt and asked the question in the middle of a crowded street. What on earth was I meant to say? I couldn't say no, because surely Peter would then ask why."

Sirius frowned. "What is it with you and Peter these days, Prongs?"

James stared at him blankly. "You and Lily are in tune. She asked me that too, a few weeks ago. And my answer to you is the same asit was toher: Nothing. He's just a little slow and my patience is overlapping."

Sirius raised his eyebrows "And?"

"And I don't want him to be told much about what is going on." James saidquickly.

Sirius looked slightly stunned. "Why not?"

James shook his head. "I don't want him making foolish comments, which he undoubtfully will anyway, but I just don't want him knowing too much about what he doesn't understand." He looked at his friend, and was slightly annoyed to see him perplexed.

"James, mate, I had no idea that you and Wormtail weren't getting along..."

"Look it isn't like that!" James saidangrily. "Pete's my friend, I just don't want him saying things he shouldn't say in front of Lily, or maybe even someone else. Is that so hardto understand?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's alright, I get you. But now, Lily…"

It was James' turn to stare. "What about Lil?"

"Well," said Sirius, "aren't you going to tell her about all this?"

There was a pause.

"No." James said at length. "Not yet, not now. She isn't ready to hear it and she isn't ready to approve ofit."

"Whoa Prongs, I'm not sure I agree with this one. Lily is going to find out and she'll be furious that you didn't talk to her first."

"I did talk to her, she doesn't agree with any of it, she wants to follow everything Dumbledore says and sit at home like the good girl Lily is."

But then Sirius scowled. "Shouldn't you at least tell her? I mean, she asked you not to meddle with this. It's risky."

"What Lily doesn't know," said James slowly, staring back at the picture, "can't hurt her."


End file.
